Let’s Have Another Baby…

So here’s the thing. 

When you’re in your thirties, like me, and you have a child who is over the age of 2 years, you will absolutely be asked by complete strangers (in the mall, at the park, in the bathroom at a movie theatre) when you are going to have another baby. This is a fact. Feel free to calibrate your Rolex to that true north.

Now, I’m the first to admit that I am frigging awkward in person. Like, needs to have a game plan about conversation topics a minimum of 24 hours in advance of a child’s birthday party. I’m so awkward that I’ll answer ‘Yes’ to every question I’m asked, and before you know it, I’ve got myself a job recruiting Steve Harper to be the next contestant on the Price is Right. “$1!” “Ohhh, I’m sorry Steve, the closest bid was ‘The People’.”

So, awkward me being my awkward self usually answers sheepishly like Goofy has taken over: “Garsh! I really don’t know! Hayuck!” and scuttle away to pee in heavenly privacy.

Being that I truly do not know the answer to the question, the hubs and I decided to quit our jobs, and open a business in the arts. A film studio in our home town. 

There are a lot of parallels to starting a business and having a human baby…especially if you decide to do this while also raising a toddler. I figured I would share a few:

1. The labour involved is painful and intense. You will need your village to get you through it…because the hard parts are really really hard. You know it will be over soon, and the baby will be beautiful, but you will need that village to talk you out of giving up every minute that labour goes over time. Keep going. 

2. There will be unexpected expenses. Chew bubble gum, solve some algebra, you’ll never see them coming, so quit worrying and solve the problem as it presents itself. Employ experts to help you, it’s worth it.

3. You will have to answer calls at all hours of the day and night. You are responsible, completely, for growing that child. 

4. You will have epic philosophical battles with your partner on how best to raise your baby. Major and minor decisions seem to mean the end and beginning of your new world all at the same time.

5. You will need to move, at least once, to provide a better environment for your growing family. Whether the space for business isn’t large enough, or you downsize your personal living space to give this new life a chance, this inevitably means moving. Get comfy with quick change.

6. You will make decisions that will fail. You will learn from those failures, and you will grow. So will your baby. Human error is what makes this process so awful and perfect. 

7. You feel in control (because you scarily are) while being totally out of control (because the learning curve is fucking steep). Ear muffs. Learn to slow down and look around. This usually happens after you’ve been through a few #6’s, as above.

8. There are major growing pains. You have a new responsibility, a new purpose, and a new love. Balancing the newness with your previous life takes practice. The stress sweating will stop. Buy stronger deodorant in the meantime.

9. You will cry a lot. To your Mom. For no reason at all. Just because.

10. The small wins will feel like you won the Stanley Cup. Celebrate each victory, even if it’s something as small as putting your underwear on the right way ’round. #winning.

So, I suppose the answer to those strangers would be a confident ‘Yes’, our baby is 3 months old, and we named her Finerty Studios. And she’s beautiful.

Proud parent of two,

Fumbling Mom